If a 15 year old runs away from a physically abusive home,
tells the truth, whole truth, nothing but the truth, to the detective at the
police department, and then is told LITERALLY 10 MINUTES later that her parents
are there to pick her up... the complete INJUSTICE that has been conducted
there should be grounds for a lawsuit, right?
Considering that ultimately I gathered the will-power and escaped again a month or so later, with fresh markings, I was finally placed in emergency temporary custody of the state (foster care). The case went to a jury trial 1 year later & my step-mom (who had inflicted the most recent injuries) was found guilty for Cruelty to a Child (which had actually been on-going for FIVE YEARS, along with my dad beating me, but since he had not caused the most recent injuries, they could only charge her).
When an officer completely ignores a child's plea for help, doesn't even investigate the report, doesn't search the home for a gun that was reported as having been used in one of the many beatings, doesn't do ANYTHING AT ALL except call the parents and have them pick the child up from the police department... shouldn't he be FIRED!?!?! I can't help but continue to feel that the Criminal Justice System failed me miserably that day, and this has haunted me ever since.
This lack of education or willingness to do what it takes to see a case through to JUSTICE, is happening every single day in our country. It only takes one detective sweeping a cry for help under the rug (so as not to have to write a report? or because he believed in child abuse? maybe he had just beat the hell out of his own kid that morning?), just takes that one detective to warp the entire future of one child.
If I had died, THEN it would have made (possibly) the local news and he may have been suspended without pay or who knows, maybe even fired, but since I SURVIVED he got to skate free under the radar. Hell, he may not even have known the outcome of that case for all I know! He may have continued to believe whatever it was that he wanted to believe and never even heard about my case again after that day. Little did he know, I would never, ever forget.
Considering that ultimately I gathered the will-power and escaped again a month or so later, with fresh markings, I was finally placed in emergency temporary custody of the state (foster care). The case went to a jury trial 1 year later & my step-mom (who had inflicted the most recent injuries) was found guilty for Cruelty to a Child (which had actually been on-going for FIVE YEARS, along with my dad beating me, but since he had not caused the most recent injuries, they could only charge her).
When an officer completely ignores a child's plea for help, doesn't even investigate the report, doesn't search the home for a gun that was reported as having been used in one of the many beatings, doesn't do ANYTHING AT ALL except call the parents and have them pick the child up from the police department... shouldn't he be FIRED!?!?! I can't help but continue to feel that the Criminal Justice System failed me miserably that day, and this has haunted me ever since.
This lack of education or willingness to do what it takes to see a case through to JUSTICE, is happening every single day in our country. It only takes one detective sweeping a cry for help under the rug (so as not to have to write a report? or because he believed in child abuse? maybe he had just beat the hell out of his own kid that morning?), just takes that one detective to warp the entire future of one child.
If I had died, THEN it would have made (possibly) the local news and he may have been suspended without pay or who knows, maybe even fired, but since I SURVIVED he got to skate free under the radar. Hell, he may not even have known the outcome of that case for all I know! He may have continued to believe whatever it was that he wanted to believe and never even heard about my case again after that day. Little did he know, I would never, ever forget.
Who is going to give the kids a voice? I know +Court Appointed Special Advocates CASA tries and when it gets to the legal proceedings, they really do a phenomenal job of being there for the kids (or at least my CASA did!), but if cases like mine are
turned away and treated as BS, "stupid kids", la de da, by the first detective they ever encounter on their first attempt to break free from the abuse, then those
kids eventually will believe that nothing they do can get them the help that they need. I would imagine this would be when they would either run away and turn to drugs, prostitution, or commit suicide, or wind
up killing the people who have been beating them for years (if they are not able
to finally get help like I was able to in the end). "Killer Kids", some of those stories were not psycho lunatic murderers believe it or not. Some of them had just simply had enough!
Child abuse and (more specifically in this case) society "turning its head" to it, is such a tragic epidemic in our country that no one seems to be paying any serious attention to. Yes, there are plenty of "I'm a Survivor" stories and "How to Deal with Painful, Abusive Childhood Memories", "Don't Run Away", "Foster Care Abuse", and news articles about abuse, and all of that is great, however, they do not encourage the battered child to actively seek help and ESCAPE (well, not like I'm going to anyways). It seems like most of the things I have read the last... 18 years since I began reading about child abuse, all of the publications seem to point towards encouraging the child to survive. Yes, they advise to seek help this way and that, but kids need to be reminded that IT'S NOT GOING TO BE EASY and you CAN NOT just give up after one try!!! No one is going to believe you and if they do, they will probably remain skeptical. If you understand this part, you're already a step ahead of the game because by understanding that, then you understand that it is TOTALLY WEIRD AND ABNORMAL FOR PEOPLE TO BEAT THEIR KIDS (or really anyone, for that matter)!!! This understanding is the FIRST STEP on your road to... RISING UP!!!
Every day (I'm guilty of it too!) we all go about our daily routine thinking of only ourselves, our own little lives and our own little section of our own little worlds, while there are thousands (grossly understated guesstimate) of kids in our country suffering physical pain at the hands of the very people who are supposed to love and protect them from the evils of the world. Those kids are your next door neighbors! They are your kid's friends! They are your kid's friend's sister! HELP THEM!!! Anyone out there care to help me shed some light on this issue?
We do not walk down dark alleys at night alone in bad parts of town without a very keen awareness of our surroundings and the clear and present danger we are facing... Shouldn't we remain aware of every child we come in contact with in our day-to-day lives, and pay extremely special attention to what they might be TRYING to tell us without using words? Then, when they do finally muster up the courage (or experience a clearly defined life-or-death situation as in my case), shouldn't we actually LISTEN, INVESTIGATE, EDUCATE, & ENCOURAGE our Law Enforcement Officials to do the same?
It's not fair to these kids to not give them the benefit of the doubt. A criminal is innocent until proven guilty, so why should a child not be shown the same respect and be believed in when they are crying out for your help? Obviously, if a kid tells you they saw the tooth fairy floating in the sky, you can just move on, but if a kid tells you her step-mom pointed a gun at her and told her to get in the house right now or she would blow her head off, why in the hell would you NOT believe her and do your job and actually INVESTIGATE THE CASE?!?! Why on earth would any educated person in their right mind ask a kid a million questions, hear them out on why they ran away, walk out of the interrogation room, then walk back in saying, "Alright, your parents are here for you, you're free to go", as if the kid was the BAD one for running away from a potentially deadly home in the first place?!?
Child abuse and (more specifically in this case) society "turning its head" to it, is such a tragic epidemic in our country that no one seems to be paying any serious attention to. Yes, there are plenty of "I'm a Survivor" stories and "How to Deal with Painful, Abusive Childhood Memories", "Don't Run Away", "Foster Care Abuse", and news articles about abuse, and all of that is great, however, they do not encourage the battered child to actively seek help and ESCAPE (well, not like I'm going to anyways). It seems like most of the things I have read the last... 18 years since I began reading about child abuse, all of the publications seem to point towards encouraging the child to survive. Yes, they advise to seek help this way and that, but kids need to be reminded that IT'S NOT GOING TO BE EASY and you CAN NOT just give up after one try!!! No one is going to believe you and if they do, they will probably remain skeptical. If you understand this part, you're already a step ahead of the game because by understanding that, then you understand that it is TOTALLY WEIRD AND ABNORMAL FOR PEOPLE TO BEAT THEIR KIDS (or really anyone, for that matter)!!! This understanding is the FIRST STEP on your road to... RISING UP!!!
Every day (I'm guilty of it too!) we all go about our daily routine thinking of only ourselves, our own little lives and our own little section of our own little worlds, while there are thousands (grossly understated guesstimate) of kids in our country suffering physical pain at the hands of the very people who are supposed to love and protect them from the evils of the world. Those kids are your next door neighbors! They are your kid's friends! They are your kid's friend's sister! HELP THEM!!! Anyone out there care to help me shed some light on this issue?
We do not walk down dark alleys at night alone in bad parts of town without a very keen awareness of our surroundings and the clear and present danger we are facing... Shouldn't we remain aware of every child we come in contact with in our day-to-day lives, and pay extremely special attention to what they might be TRYING to tell us without using words? Then, when they do finally muster up the courage (or experience a clearly defined life-or-death situation as in my case), shouldn't we actually LISTEN, INVESTIGATE, EDUCATE, & ENCOURAGE our Law Enforcement Officials to do the same?
It's not fair to these kids to not give them the benefit of the doubt. A criminal is innocent until proven guilty, so why should a child not be shown the same respect and be believed in when they are crying out for your help? Obviously, if a kid tells you they saw the tooth fairy floating in the sky, you can just move on, but if a kid tells you her step-mom pointed a gun at her and told her to get in the house right now or she would blow her head off, why in the hell would you NOT believe her and do your job and actually INVESTIGATE THE CASE?!?! Why on earth would any educated person in their right mind ask a kid a million questions, hear them out on why they ran away, walk out of the interrogation room, then walk back in saying, "Alright, your parents are here for you, you're free to go", as if the kid was the BAD one for running away from a potentially deadly home in the first place?!?
I'm tired of accepting things the way they happened. My step-mom and dad may have started it all,
but that Police Department Detective failed me as a fellow human being. The police officers that were called out the second time I ran away actually did their jobs, though, and put me in protective custody. Granted, I had fresh markings so maybe they just had no choice? The only markings I had the first time I ran away were
bruises and a missing pinky nail from being pistol-whipped a week or so prior. The fact that I know this injustice is happening all the time is what really gets me.
Not every kid is going to see the light at the end of the tunnel like I did. Not every kid will have the courage to stand up for themselves AGAIN after you have pushed them all the way to rock bottom. You will only make them believe that the Criminal Justice System (which should be their first line of defense) is just going to laugh in their faces, make them feel stupid, and cause them get a sure beating when they get home with their crazy parents!!!
Not every kid is going to see the light at the end of the tunnel like I did. Not every kid will have the courage to stand up for themselves AGAIN after you have pushed them all the way to rock bottom. You will only make them believe that the Criminal Justice System (which should be their first line of defense) is just going to laugh in their faces, make them feel stupid, and cause them get a sure beating when they get home with their crazy parents!!!
I graduated from college with a degree in Criminal Justice,
thinking that I would figure out a way to do something about the injustice that
was done to me in order to help other kids going through abuse. Unfortunately, all I realized after 4 years of school and 3 years working
as a police dispatcher is that was NOT the life I wanted to live. As much
as I respect the profession, characters, and successes of all the officers and dispatchers I worked
with, I did discover that to move forward in Criminal Justice, you really
do have to start out as a cop. I decided I didn't want to risk my life
anymore than I already had growing up, and that just wasn't the right career path for me to follow my passions. I
do still want to make a difference somehow, and if that difference starts with
this blog, I can promise it won't end there.
It has been 13 years.
I am tired of sweeping it all under the rug while I live in my amazingly awesome, happy little
world. I'm tired of NOT helping these kids and pretending my twisted past was normal just to move on with life and focus on enjoying it. I think I pretended and kept enough secrets during the 5 years that I endured that painful experience, so now it is time for some of those kids to benefit from my similar experiences. It is time for me to get through to those kids like I'm talking to myself, when I was 10-15 years old.
I'm in the middle of writing my 1st novel (has been a life-long goal) kind of as an attempt to reach out to those kids and in another way just to be able to say I did it. I used to read all the time when I was going through those struggles in the hopes to feel like someone out there understood my pain, that someone else in this gigantic world could actually relate. I couldn't talk to anyone about it but at least I could read about other peoples' experiences and feel somewhat accepted and understood for a change. It has been really hard trying to come up with fiction though, because truth really is stranger than fiction. When all is said and done, the time is here. The time is now. Who can help me to help them now?
I'm in the middle of writing my 1st novel (has been a life-long goal) kind of as an attempt to reach out to those kids and in another way just to be able to say I did it. I used to read all the time when I was going through those struggles in the hopes to feel like someone out there understood my pain, that someone else in this gigantic world could actually relate. I couldn't talk to anyone about it but at least I could read about other peoples' experiences and feel somewhat accepted and understood for a change. It has been really hard trying to come up with fiction though, because truth really is stranger than fiction. When all is said and done, the time is here. The time is now. Who can help me to help them now?
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